In today’s ever-changing, ever-evolving world, it is significant to mention the changing views and perspectives of women, in the minds of men as well as other women. From women being registered as voters to standing up for their own rights, the women of Pakistan are finally defining roles in spite of the tremendous reluctance from the state, religious foundations, as well as other women. Yes, this is the Pakistan of today, depicting women as strong as ever. However, there are still many people who have not grown with the changing times and still live somewhere in the past. Pakistan of the past was dangerous for women, as back in the days, women did not have access to their basic living rights, let alone the advanced rights. There was a time when women were not valued for their existence but were just a target of various aspects of domestic violence, in the form of Physical, Economic, Psychological, and sexual violence. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that women could be described as powerless, helpless, worthless, and hopeless. However, today, women in Pakistan have redefined their own selves and have utterly changed the meaning of the past. Today, I wouldn’t be wrong to say that women of today are powerful, helpful, worthy of everything, and full of hope. Yes, women, today have changed the definition of their existence and have proudly stood up for their rights; they have denied any sort of unfairness and have signed up to STAND UP, not for just themselves, but also other women.
Unfortunately, there still are quite a number of people living in significant societies who tend to blame women for standing up for their own rights. The new evolving culture of Pakistan is often categorized as a reason for “Divorce,” “promoting vulgarity,” and whatnot. Whereas all these women are doing is just standing for their basic/fundamental Human rights. The denial of limits on freedom of choice, speech, and visibility in the public sphere is what has made these women stand out. Whereby the particular phenomena has often declared the reason for “Divorce.”
It’s sickening to comprehend the thinking, and even harder to bring it to an understanding, as to firstly why is divorce such a taboo, and why is the freedom of women solely blamed for it? Yes, I agree with the fact that women of today are far more educated than the women of the past. Women have the basic as well as the advanced knowledge of their rights, and instead of denying those rights, they choose to stand up. What can be wrong with this? But oh well, society.
The reason why society blames women is that it is easier. The significant grounds for divorce in Pakistan are mostly targeting women, with many reasons at hand. Firstly, the prime reason for divorce is often incompatibility between the couple, which leads to conflicts and later to growing misunderstandings. It is essential for the couple to be on the same page for a successful marriage. Secondly, due to the clashing views, both the subjects may be directed towards stress, leading to depression. Or even worse, if the man abuses the woman, considering her a weakling, abuse in the form of physical or verbal, there is a high chance that the woman will try to put an end to it. That end will most understandably be a divorce, blaming the woman again; But only if people would know the story behind the closed doors.
Moreover, back in the days’ women were ‘Okay’ with their husbands having extramarital affairs, with the thinking that “He still has given me the position as his wife, and that is enough for me to have a sustainable source of income.” Nevertheless, today women of Pakistan are educated enough to take their own stand. In-fact unlike the past, they are financially independent where men were the primary authority figures, with women being the subordinates. Don’t get me wrong, I do not deny the patriarchal society, but yes, I certainly am emphasizing the fact that gender roles have evolved. In the past, where men were only considered susceptible enough to support their families, today, women have certainly changed the phenomena for the better.
Moreover, men or women often at the time of divorce are seen saying, “He/she is not the same person I married,” which is precisely true as well. People evolve, change with time. But it is important to bring in a positive change with the changing times. Support one another in times of hardships as well as celebrate each others’ success. I believe that is the sole formula for a happy and successful marriage. And if things are not going the way it was planned by either spouse, they have the right to file for divorce, it, not a taboo, it’s a person’s right to choose their happiness.
And yes, before I leave, I most definitely would like to say, “You Go, Women, you make us proud!”